Its like this I guess, I will try to keep this simple and sweet – if I was ushered into a room after 3 pints where there was a life size inflatable plastic recreation of a willing, lets say Milla Jovovic just for example would I be tempted to ride it?
The answer is no.
Because, even under the most desperate conditions I would not and could not see that as a substitute for the real thing.

I would rather shag the ugly bird off Eastenders than a plastic Milla.

Hence, I will be sticking to my local mush and not driving up the M4 looking for a plastic wave.

Footnote : I should add that I am not a good surfer, nor some Zen Buddhist Surf Dude, I just like playing and fighting with the sea and nature and myself..